• Aaron McLane

Todds Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Thanksgiving (AKA BLOOD RAGE)



So your name is Todd and you and your identical twin brother Terry are at a drive-in-movie with your mom and her ass-wipe boyfriend, and you're expected to fall asleep in the back of your station wagon while they make out in the front seat. But Terry is like "F- that noise" and you both sneak out to peep on the other goings on in the cars around you. You find two teenagers cavorting in the backseat of a car and watch as that shit turns into a song by The Weeknd. But Terry is a creeper and walks right up to the window which totally kills the vibe. The boy side of this boning couple catches Terry having a gander on their backseat shenanigans and tells him to scram. Terry responds by putting a hatchet he found lying around the drive-in in that guy’s face...like four times. You stand gobsmacked and paralyzed with a slowly wilting fear boner because this is the first time you have ever seen naked people, and now thanks to your ass-hole twin Terry, it’s also the first time you have ever seen a dead body. But in your moment of vulnerability, Terry hands you the hatchet and wipes blood all over you and starts calling for your mom like you did this shit.

Blood Rage skips over what was probably the trial of the century, and 10 years later we find that you have been languishing in a mental institution while your brother has been yukking it up on the outside. Well, it’s Thanksgiving and you decide that you have had enough of this shit and GTFO of the mental hospital. Your doctors call your family during their turkey dinner and let them know you escaped, and are probably heading home. Because that seems to be the only thing anybody escaping from a mental institution can do, go home. This news triggers the shit out of Terry who proceeds to kill everyone he can, on the sly though because in classic Terry fashion he is still planning on pinning those bodies on you. Your mom gets sloppy on red wine and begins drunk dialing the whole neighborhood. Meanwhile Terry discovers the difference between cranberry sauce and blood, because it’s Thanksgiving, and Terry is on a murder spree. Since you are identical twins there are some fun moments of mistaken identity. Like when one of your brother’s lady friends whose relationship status can only be described as “It’s Complicated” hits you up for some sweet loving, and if you had kept your mouth shut you totally could have "Dead Ringered" that shit but you are not your asshole twin brother and you come clean before anything fun or sexy happens. While looking for Terry, you discover that he’s left bodies everywhere, turning your apartment complex into a blood soaked funhouse. You finally confront your drunk mother (who never believed you), and your twin brother (who is still an asshole). Shit goes down and the credits roll.

Packed with fantastically cheesy acting and some actually impressive kills Blood Rage, AKA Slasher AKA Todd’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad, Thanksgiving, is a really enjoyable film. Super entertaining and surprisingly engaging it is worth finding a copy.

Los Angeles, CA

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